Grand Ma

Grandma

By: Roger Alderman

Helen opened her eyes and glanced at the surface of the tabletop before her. Her eyes focusing on each card for a moment as the story someone asked her to tell revealed itself. She looked up at Jenny, “He is here and wants to explain what happened. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

Jenny shifted side to side in her seat trying to decide if her courage would last as the word came. She nodded for Helen to proceed, “Yes, please I have to know.” Her words carried the longing for her lost love. 

Helen closed her eyes and allowed the spirit to enter her body. He arrived like a summer breeze carrying the scent of wildflowers. She forced herself to “step aside” and allow him to tell his story. 

The violent coughing fits and fever have given me the day off work. I open my eyes through the fever induced haze the television tells me the next program is a game show. A smile turns up the corners of my mouth. 

The memories of my grandmother and I watching games shows together when we were much younger.  I draw strength from the memories and slowly slide upright on the cool leather of the worn-out brown sofa. The quilt my grandmother made me bunches up across my waist. I cherish this last quilt she made before moving into the nursing home. 

I cherish this last quilt she created before my mother and father moved her into the nursing home. “I really need to go visit her in the nursing home,” I think to myself. The sudden creaking of grandmothers rocking chair draws my attention as Ginger, my wife’s cat, drops to the floor. in the nursing home

I can’t help chuckle watching the overweight orange tabby waddle into the kitchen. Ginger seems to never stop eating these days. I can hear her pushing through the hard kibble in search of her next mouthful of delight.

I close my eyes and adjust the warming blue rubber ice pack resting against my forehead. The moist cool offers significant relief of the pain created by the burning behind my eyes. I exhale loud enough to pull the cat’s attention momentarily from her focus as the burning subsides. 

The televisions announcement of the start of the afternoon’s soap operas starting startles me. I must have fallen asleep and lost an entire hour. I shake my head in disbelief I had blacked out yet again. 

Something was different this time about the blackout my legs felt heavy and numb. I wiggle my toes and am happy to see the movement. The medicine makes me feel so odd. 

That’s when she walked in. to the living room from the kitchen. “Grand Ma?” I asked. She smiled and handed me a cup of hot tea. I closed my eyes allowing the scent of the honey and lemon to fill my sinuses with the first sip. 

“When did you get here?” I couldn’t help but ask the obvious questions. She sat on her rocking chair and was joined by Ginger, “Oh, a little while ago. You were asleep. So, I let myself in.” How could I argue with her arrival, after all, she and grandpa lived here their whole lives. She passed it down to Jenny and me as our very first home.

She paused stroking Ginger and rocked forward, “I could never leave my grandson on his own. Especially being so sick.” I nodded in understanding while taking a long draw from the honey and lemon tea. She offered a comforting smile and patted my knee, “Nothing more to worry about. Grand Ma is here to take care of you.” 

I returned to the prone position on the sofa after placing the tea on the old wooden coffee table between me and the television. “Did mom pick you up?” as I remembered that she had to surrender the privilege to drive before entering the nursing home. She rocked back in the chair as ginger stretched. 

She hummed a familiar song in an instant I found myself a small child hearing her song echo in my thoughts. The tune calmed my spirit instantly as it always had since I was in preschool. I hummed along with her and found peace in the moment. 

The coughing returned with a vengeance. It started with the sensation of a great weight bearing down on my chest. My breath left me and was resistant to returning. I gasped and tried to rise upright, but due to the damage inflicted by the fever and infection lacked the physical strength.

My legs trembled beyond my control and slowly the shaking made its way throughout my body. I forced my eyes wide open in desperation seeking help against the violent episode taking hold of me. The thick sputum choked and gag me. 

In a brutal thrust, I forced the heavy green, gray mucus from my throat and mouth. It didn’t travel far it landed and thinned and expand across my chest. It was then that grand ma’s song drifted back into the room from the kitchen. 

The calming effect sent me tumbling back into the black void of deep dreamless sleep.  In that dark place, all I could think about was waking up. I forced my eyes open one more time only to see the living room had grown dark with the arrival of the evening.

My body had grown heavy and weak I found I was unable to move. Thankfully my hearing was still intact along with a deep echo of sounds from the television. My sight remained, but the fever has left me with a haziness to everything I tried to look at. 

In the evening’s darkness, the only source of light came from the glow from the television. A glow that now seemed a spotlight blasting its brilliant illumination into my eyes. I wanted to blink against the light but was unable. 

Jenny entered through the front door with her loving smile and desire to be with me in our home. “Hey Baby,” she lovingly called out as she dropped her car keys onto the low table next to the front door. She spun and rushed to my side, “How was your day?” 

I tried to hold her, but could not move. I tried to tell her I loved her and about my grandmothers visit, but could not speak. I couldn’t do anything at all. I screamed for Jenny to help, but no words left my mouth.

Jenny paused, “Jeremy?” She sat up and turned on the old lamp next to the sofa. She covered her mouth and step away from me. I asked, What’s Wrong? But again, no words just me alone with thoughts. She cried out, “Oh GOD No!”

Time passed in a flurry of colors and motions around me. A constant blur of people arrived and left as time pressed on. Jenny watched as each tried in their own way to revive me, but none succeeded in their efforts. 

Amidst the cacophony of colorful people entered my grandmother she made her way to my side, “Jeremy… I know you can hear me.” She reached down and took my hand and helped me to my feet. She hugged me and together we looked back down at the husk that remained on the sofa. 

“What will happen to Jenny?” I asked. “She will recover and move on just as you now have too,” grandmas words carried the weight of truth. “I refuse to let you pass alone as I did in the nursing home,” she continued. 

“Can’t I stay with her?” I begged. “Sure, but when we don’t let go. We cause them greater heartache as we remain in their thoughts and emotions,” she spoke from a place of love and I knew it. “I would haunt her…” I lowered my head, “she does not deserve that.”

Grandma opened the front door and a brilliant light flooded into the room. I pulled away in fear, but she took my hand and together we entered the eternal. 

Helen began to cough and gag. “Are you okay?” Jenny rushed to her aide. Helen nodded an affirmative, yes. “He has left. I hope you got what you needed?” Helen asked Jenny as she sat down on her chair. 

Jenny wiped the tears and running mascara from her cheeks, “Yes, thank you.” Helen hugged her, “are you sure?” Jenny nodded, yes, “he wanted me to move on and find the happiness he felt I deserved.